Topic: Making a Task Non-Negotiable Without Forcing Yourself

In the old days, I used to force myself do things I didn't want to do "because I said I would." It seemed like an act of integrity. Eventually, I learned that this approach creates tremendous conflict. It fuels greater and greater resistance to doing similar tasks. So, I weaned myself from the duty premise and stopped forcing myself. Ever.

Instead, I developed many, many techniques to align reason and emotion, so that there was no conflict over doing what I thought I should do. These tactics are extremely helpful, and I recommend them. They are 100% psychologically healthy. But because of the nature of conflict, no method can guarantee a resolution in a specific amount of time. The truth is, some conflicts are too complex to be resolved before you need to act.

So I've also developed methods that help you act despite conflict. The problem with these is that they take a fair amount of energy. If you are in a negative state, it can be difficult to engage in them.

The latest tool, which I've adapted from Brooke Castillo, is what I call, "making a task non-negotiable." You can use this approach when you see that you run into a particular conflict on a regular basis, and you want to have a standard response. In this class, you will learn:

• Why you need to think in advance about why the action is "non-negotiable"
• How to conceptualize your reason so that it will motivate you to act in your best interest when next you face this conflict
• The two key things you need to remind yourself at the moment

I am quite excited about this method, because I see it as training myself in rational selfishness--and an objective approach to integrity.

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